Tale of Two Marions: Great ones Going Social

I awoke to find two Marions in the news this morning, two black Marions. Neither received coverage for celebratory good news. Nothing uplifting and no great achievements to announce either. Au contraire. The news? The usual "been-caught-so-I confess" despair, of course, of the self-inflicted kind. Their plight, these two Marions, reminded me of the label this teacher used to place on promising students who were clearly doomed to this kind of self-inflicted failure. He would look up from his desk, eyes lifted beyond his bifocals and lean into the student to impart a particular warning: "You, my dear, are going social, " he would say, "Stop yourself now or your life will never be the same."

His name was Mr. Sikkrut or Sliprutts I think. He was a gym teacher, (or was it speech?) who really had an eye for the ladies - especially the nubile cheerleading ones. Whatever his lecherous defects, he did have a sense about people. And if there was one thing Mr. Sikkrut could spot, it was someone heading for a fall from grace because of their inner insecurities, single tragic flaws and, as he put it, "Going social" behavior. The students who began high school wide-eyed and well intended, seeking popularity, enticed by vanity, quickly became members of an "in" crowd, or an "out" crowd of cleverly disguised misfits, and would one day meet their social demise. He could spot them from the very first day of school. Lacking backbone, wrapped in trends, huge potential and a propensity for going social to fill a void hidden deep within.

Sikkrut-the-great-psychic-Swamee, was fired one day, for placing a male student in a headlock, choking this popular football player until it caused the student to pass out. This took place during a classroom standoff/pissing contest incident, prompted by a mutual desire to impress the females in the classroom. Idiotic, testosterone-oriented, bad judgement. He eventually became an alcoholic and a victim of his own prediction. Bad decision makingin order to floss for an external no one. He was never heard from again. The male student? He, of course, became a state legislator representing a major US city. Still wanting to be seen and still cleverly disguised.

I think the world turns slowly, purposefully, to allow balance to yin-yang us. what goes around, ladies...

Washington, DC has never been a model city. Rather, it is actually two cities that share two cultures, unified under one zip code. The Washington government "mother", who has two children of different races and, because of the laws of the time, one child is indisputably inferior, never to be given the same rights and privileges of the other, much lighter, sibling. Marion Barry became Mayor of DC's dark side. befriending the worker, the home-owning grandmothers, the voters, by being there. He also curried enough favor on the lighter side of town, making sure key big business figures ate off the land so that his power remained - though often challenged - always just beyond their reach. Talk to the parents of baby boomers in DC who were there back in the Marion Barry hey-day, and you will find that to them Marion Barry is still: "My Mayor!" they proclaim proudly. The Pastor of [insert any major DC Baptist Church here] welcomed the good "mayor" into the pulpit just last week. And he spoke like the leader, the deliverer, he sees himself to be. Proud Marion. Unapologetic for the days of crack use and b's who set him up in hotel rooms which are long behind him. The American memory and black pseudo-leadership is tragically flawed, having "gone social" long ago.

Marion Barry+Youth jobs="He's got a good heart...what is so corrupt about that? All them politicians do something. At least he's bringing it home to the kids." says Mr. Amtrak worker. That is a big deal for working-class black America. But...what of the future.

BUT when the inner city DC boys turn 17, cannot read in spite of their summer yard work paid for by the Barry plan, and they return to the NE side of town rejected and unwelcome by the world of their lighter brother other side of town, their lives (most of their lives) have but two destinations. One is prison. The other is death - by drugs and the killing of the mind, destruction of the community and spirit and death by bullets. Yes, many have left Washington's prestigious black educational institutions and thrived beyond the confines of poverty. Exceptional models of black excellence. Exceptional. Exceptions. But what of the Mayor's Washington? Deal making, my-main-man...The chocolate city was swept up by the crack epidemic. Street 'soldiers' marched the narcotic into the community and the elite used it for the "social" entertainment. Living high - even at the Mayor's mansion. God bless you Effie Barry for staying by his side for as long as you did. Can you imagine the things she endured being the wife? Living the lies? Peace to her. The new mayor, Adrian Fenty grew up watching the tragedies unfold. I think a change is coming.

Can I be a wife? If my hubby "goes social" God forbid, can I save him?

Okay, I will stop here again just sooooooooooo disappointed about the state of our black people and what it all means for the women and black girls. Does DC have strong black girl leadership? Eleanor Holmes Norton has been the occasionally powerless DC representative in Congress who is angry, with heavy emphasis on the rhetoric, but comfortable. Likable and rarely capable of blocking the unacceptable, but has she ever delivered the improbable? Don't think so. Not taken seriously. Bush laughs at lawmakers like her. Would, say President Obama view her differently? Does she bring anything to be viewed differently about? I know, I digress.

Marion Jones. another beautiful black girl with the civil rights name, who let us down today ladies. Not unlike the infamous Marion Barry, whose 50 pairs of cuff links and six Rolexes were stolen in a newsworthy break in the other night. Today, after winning her five medals (3 of them gold) in the Olympics and smiling her way into the hearts of sisters everywhere, she confessed to illegal steroid use to "enhance" her performance. She adamantly denied it. Bewware of adamant denials. And today, confession and apology. Who's next?Say it isn't so Serena! I am holding on to the hope that the Williams sisters remain goddesses of sports power. Marion, how could you? Who was so greedy and influential that they got into your mind, heart and vanity convincing you to run faster, better longer and stronger, by rubbing your body with "the clear" without regard for "the crime?"

No one can ride your back, or MAKE you carry them, if you are standing up straight. Bending over is the problem. Weakness and yes, the proverbial lack of knowledge of self, causes destruction to pile on. Many of walk around with a whole lotta monkeys on our backs. Stress self-inflicted. Stand up straight at all times girls. Find your gifts and use them preciously, carefully, cautiously no matter what the temptation. Do not go social and place others intentions before your own integrity.

Going social.

The Supreme Court went social at one point. Yes, I said the Supreme Court. Delivering a crushing blow to black people, the brunt of which was bourne by black women. The evolution of Supreme Court’s expansion, retraction and then expansion again of “national power” via the Commerce Clause, was clear in Gibbons v. Ogden (1824). When wealthy magnate Conrnelius Vanderbilt wanted to use the river with his steamboat and was challenged by NY state and a steamboat license holder. The court jumped in and said Vanderbilt deserves the freedom to sail where he wishes. He deserves that freedom! It is good for commerce! We are the great protectors of interstate commerce. Go and sail on! They ruled he should pay no attention to state of NY who want to control and limit his come and go. That showed backbone ladies. History changing backbone. But strangely, in 1883, under the question of racial discrimination, the once strong and mighty court which protected man's freedoms suddenly became weak and deferential. The case? Black people wanting to stay in motels, or eat where they chose. Spending of their money where they wished. Still good for interstate commerce? Oh, ha ha...uh, no. Thsi same court said: We musn't overstep into the states decision-making authority and force people to treat blacks equally. Equal? Well, this is not for us to decide. (Oh, really?) The FRONT of the bus? Hey, now we've heard the back is quite comfortable. Can't you blacks be happy with that? Come now.

The weakness and failure of the court to defend us and their cow-towing to racial "going social" peer pressures wrapped in legal misinterpretation, set the race back hundreds of years. Blacks who became educated landowning citizens after the Emancipation, were reduced to doing the tap dance of segregation. How courageous it must have been for Martin and Ralph and Rosa and Coretta, Thurgood and John Hope to work in the face of oppression. They had to at one point DECIDE not to go social and accept the whims- even the 100 year old ones- of the nation. Little girls speaking. Little girls marching. Four little girls ascending, so YOU and I would not have to take it anymore. And what did you do with THAT MARION?!! Steroids slap God in the face and undermine the incredible talent he gave you. Look how far you'd come without them! You felt you needed "the clear," huh? Are you insane?

How could throw away your leadership, accomplishment, role modelship, presence, gift and achievement away in one peer pressure moment? We laugh when elders talk about the Civil rights movement. We roll our contact-lensed eyes when the NAACP releases yet another f#$&ing STATEMENT proclaiming something unjust, just after they have hit up corporate America to sponsor their annual chicken dinners. But what about the reality that the only reason your one-crooked-front-tooth-having self would still be running from racists and lynch mobs and Jim Crow and bus back-seats was because someone refused to bend over and stood up straight through the segregation wind and rain and dogs and jail....for YOU?

I am weak. We all are week. And the road straight to hell is paved with good intention. I live every day trying to watch those moments when I catch myself compromising. An event, an opinion, a credential, a project, a conversation, a commitment, a relationship - that we know we SHOULD do without. It's a fight for your soul girls and we are losing.

I do not know where the next army of soldiers will come from. Where are you Ida B. Wells and Fannie Lou? Speak to us. Keep us away from "the clear" and help us be clear about our mission that every free moment we have in the "My Mayor" city should be spent saving other little girls from the weak and teaching them strength. It does not matter what you did before today. You can redeem yourself. Even the Supreme court, prompted by irrefutable arguments by brilliant and brave black minds, regained it's back bone and passed the Civil Rights Act in 1964 ending segregation based on the marches, sit-ins, protests, sacrifices and the Heart of Atlanta Motel v U.S (1964) hotel case among others.

Yeah, I know we cannot change the world, when America's Next Top Model is on. We cannot look for fresh politics and men who can stand up straight, when McDreamy with no lips, smiles at us through the TV screen. Move a mountain? Get a pedicure? Decisions. Decisions. That is equality, right? Wrong.

Run and don't get weary girls. Start now or your life will never be the same. You can stand up...to anything. Don't you bend to what is sexy and social and surrendering your soul. You can stand up...to anything.
I believe in you.

Who Gets My Black Girl Vote?: Don't Give it Up Too Soon - Make Them Buy That Cow

What is politics to us? Is it the same politics that our forefathers and mothers gathered in church basements to create? Is it the same distinguished activism to change public policy? Marching, you remember, in pencil skirts and pearls? Class within their carriage, were our black women of that day. No MTV in sight. Pre-Bad Boy and Mo'Nique's Charm School exploits.

No, Jackie-O had nothing on the women of the Civil Rights Movement. Peace be to them. And so, a half century later, where pray tell, are we?

Remember when Mama (or mother, if you grew up in the burbs like me) told you that no brothers will "Buy the cow if they get the milk for free?" I know you remember what that meant. Of course it was about power - your power, GIRL POWER, the intoxicating power that makes the male species behave in all manner of unconscious and irrational (Clinton/Lewinsky) ways -- ways that are still beneficial to you, little girl. Mama meant for us to know that when you have something of value, (like say, sex) something people want (like say, sex -from you), there is power in preserving it, making someone earn your sacred treasure. Because, (and here is the life's lesson killer that most girls have learned the hard way:) once you give it up, the power changes hands and you can never get it back again.

Never.

And for those of you who have already given up that virginity and that "tail" on one too many occasions, it is time to reclaim your dignity. You still have a power you can cling to, one that should be sought by the highest of the high. A power that somebody very much wants. Oh yes, the potent power of your sweet, black... VOTE. Yes, your black female, discerning, neo-pencil- skirt-wearing VOTE. And don't give it up to anyone (any candidate) who has not fully earned every corner of your precious ballot.

Let's talk grassroots politics for a moment. Educate ourselves by looking at what the giant republican machines accomplished by controlling local politics: the school boards, the local agencies, zoning and other decision-making-with-local-impact areas. They built a closed good ol' boy infrastructure based on grassroots. The rest was like water running down a hill. Easy. This made it easy for republican controlled businesses. republican controlled revenue (cash flow) and ultimately, power.

Today, it is claimed that our black politicians just "look into things" when an issue arises. NAACP other black leadership rendered ineffective by their meaningless pushings of paper and back-slapping conversation. They are under too much scrutiny to be effective and are too weak to make decisions based upon being on the side of what is right. Jesse Jr. is viewed as a maverick for going against the political grain. Yet, his wfie Sandy just became a local Chicago alderman (a City Council seat). The Jacksons have a home in Morocco and more money than their grandchildren can ever spend. Do you think there was not a strategy involved? Create millionaires boys (girls), and you will never ever be broke?

Control ladies. Smart, strategic control. This is how power moves. Who controls the treasury? Jewish people. Who controls the Fire Departments, overwhelmingly? The Irish people. (polarizing examples? Maybe. Truth? Definitely.) No girls, I am not putting people in a box. I am demonstrating that there currently is no area where African-American women (black girls) reign. Unwed single motherhood notwithstanding.

What is our definition of politics and how does it touch you? White politics gets them land ownership, access to the best schools, development deals. What do our politics look like? The answer: A one day event. Think about how often we dress and shop and plan for the "one day" forum, conference, black women's expo or political event. CBC? See-Be-Seen. It would serve us to think about it. What do we support and how serious is it? Who values our judgement, because black girl support doesn't come easy?

In the current - I need a word here for "a parade of pompous clown candidates who are over privileged and under concerned about their fellow man" - except maybe one.

In the current...um...phalanx of vain candidates vying for attention (can you imagine vying for attention -- for a living?? Takes a special breed, right? But, breed of what?) there are very few who have black women on the agenda. Certainly not our republican friends. They recently skipped the all important Republican debates held by the talky Tavis Smiley in Baltimore, MD. Just no-showed. Then on Meet the Press (yes, Tavis was on Meet the Press with monster-head Tim Russert. Peace to his mother for that), Pat Buchanan crushed black vote value and Tavis' points about how insulting they've been by saying, in paraphrase: Blacks are only 13% of the population (so, you actually don't friggin count for anything in this country, he implies) and second of all, only 10% of those blacks even vote (because most of you ninnies can't navigate your way around verb conjugation much less electoral complexities).

Okay, I am going to stop here to call Pat Buchanan a CLASSIC white male ASSHOLE!

But back to my story: So we have blacks at 13% of the population, 10% of them voting and less than 10% of those voting would even consider voting Republican. His point? Y'all nigs are minuscule to us. A blip that, if placed on my ass, would not cause me to even scratch much less notice you. This constitutes typical Republican thinking. Blacks don't matter. And, black girls are for syrup bottles.

But, in reality we get no love on the Democratic side either. the Democrats treat us black girls - (yes you beautiful, educated, African-American success story with money in the bank and good credit - you too) like that proverbial boyfriend who gets a!@ from you anytime he feels like it and totally takes you for granted. Like Eddie Murphy said in his "RAW" stand up routine. When a guy hears the girl make the wooooo-woooooooo noise during sex, he knows he has got them forever and no matter what he does, she will never leave him. Ever. Girls, ladies, educated black women of America - we cannot keep making the wooooo-woooooooooo noise for the Democratic party!! We are now getting dogged. A very public-the-whole-campus/block-knows-about-it, old-fashioned dog out. I won't keep getting played like this by people we have the power to elect. We are too smart. At least get something out of it. Don't let me start illustrating the goods we should be getting when we allow ourselves to surrender something so precious. Any clues?

Okay, now I know you have been waiting for me to ask: Should we give it up to Obama? Okay, the innuendo stops here. Well, with him we know that the keys in his hands means square and fair treatment for African-Americans. Now, I know you white people are thinking: black people in power equates to hell in a handbasket, but think about this example: Pension Funds. The article in the New York Times today outlines the fact that hardly any of America's (in general) and Illinois (in particular) pension fund money went to black investment firms. In Illinois, Emil Jones, State Senate President, had been asked for years to help black firms get access to the money. He told them: "I'll look into it." Meanwhile, he did not want to rock the boat for himself and did nothing. Enter Obama. He noticed maybe, that 1) government workers and labor union members are over 80% BLACK! So, that means that your Auntie who paid faithfully into her pension fund for decades would not have any of that money invested by a black firm. Until Obama.

Obama, got with his brother-in-law (an investment banker) and his friend John Rodgers of Ariel Capital Management (home of Good Morning America's Mellody Hobson) and now over 20% of Illinois pension fund money is minority managed. The old guard it seems is maintaining the status quo. While Obama is quietly and with great aplomb, kicking doors in and making the way fairer for people. Nothing different than what the Republicans do. Or the Clintons do. I like it.

And what about Hilary? Is she worthy? Can we get past the excitement of the rise of the Clintons? The in-your-face reclamation of the White House by the man who left office in disgrace? Um I mean, the first woman President who defeats her detractors, and any h's who tried to sleep with her husband, by becoming the frigging President of the free world? I met Clinton once. Pressed my business card into his hand and did he call? You decide.

While we're at it, let's look at an Obama-is President world shall we? Now this should be fun:

Okay a black President. Blacks in the cabinet. 8,000 DC decision-making policy influencing jobs will be controlled by a person of color who is not beholden to special interests. I can see it now, sistah's and brothers running with degrees in hand to be vetted by the background checkers for a chance to be a Special Appointee in "The Administration."

And what an administration (...day of rejoicing...) that will be! Brown people in Muslim countries will no longer want to bomb the US (and themselves in the process). But will approach the US Commander-in-Chief with a modicum of respect. Which is more than the "America-must-burn-in-the-fiery-pit-of-hell" world that most anti-American Middle Easterners live in. Respect. Clerks are now Chairs. Staffers are now Assistant Deputy Secretaries and profilers have become Special Appointees to the Obama Administation. I like the sound of it. You?

Sidebar: I confess that my recollection of the many times I have heard: "I was a special appointee in the Administration" from DC black prima-donnas, makes me ill every time I think about it. Mainly because the person usually offers that half-true assertion during some kind of cocktail reception when standing in a circle with others vying for the attention of the biggest muckety-muck within earshot. OR they just want to rise above the others standing there. Same goes for people with titles like Assistant Deputy Secretary to the Special Assistant to the Special Appointee. The title comment floats and, after a moment of fake "I'm impressed" silence, the sound of "Ahhhhhhh. Really? That's interesting. Must have been exciting. Do you know....?" Questions and name-dropping wafts over the semi-circle. Someone leaves, yet others now want to befriend and move closer. PATHETIC. Sorry. I just hate that about DC (Desperate Conversation).

YES. That makes me a hater. I know this. But hear me out, real players never have to announce their credentials. Ever. Think on that. Important point for the refrigerator magnets: Just be. Without empty self-promotion. I am amazing and people can see it in my character without me advertising my credentials. Okay yes, I am feeling a bit inferior and would I like to be a political appointee? Sure. But, I can't right now. So I choose to harbor some Hate-that-bitch, internally. Harmless and we all do it.

Okay, but I was talking about Obama being president and got sidetracked by some haterism. Foreshadowing of things to come? Maybe! Can blacks get along enough to capitalize a la Vernon Jordan on what power truly means?

Please read the Autobiography of John Hope Franklin. Now, here is a man who came from nothing. But, due in part to a combination of his own ability, confidence, some vanity and willingness to actually put in work (yes, I know that is determination, but no one is moved by the word determination anymore. It has been over used in black history month ads). But he went to Harvard in the 40's when most blacks couldn't walk down Harvard Street in a major city. He is the epitome of the talented tenth and after becoming a leading historian and professor, author and presidential advisor, he finished his career as an internationally known authority on all things black and his researched helped Thurgood with Brown v. Board of Education. He was a beast. And so are you little black girls and so is your VOTE.

So we know that neither D's nor R's really care about us. Thus, my point. Do not just surrender your vote to the lesser of the two evils. Think, listen then speak and be heard!

You can live life differently. Government belongs to you. Did you know you can drive to the hill (Capitol Hill) enter any Congressional or Senate office (after going through the metal detector) without appointment? Or a security guard stopping to have you sign-in or asking you a question? Walk right down the impressive marble halls where King, Thurgood, Kennedy and others walked. See their names on the door: Obama and Clinton (on the Senate side) and Jackson and Waters (on the US House of Representatives side). You can open their unlocked office doors and pop right in to see what is happening. Why? Because THEY work for YOU!! You didn't realize you have employees did you? Take the field trip (or web trip) to learn who is doing what. Then call the hill, 202-255-3121 and ask for the member you want and say:

The black women will not have their vote dogged anymore. If you want my vote, I need to see the plan and your public commitment for - [insert your wishes here]

Maybe they touch on the key ingredients to live, liberty and the pursuit of happiness: Housing Employment, Education and Healthcare: HEEH. (I wonder if that means something in Swahili?
So...make your wish and get involved:

Scholarship Money for all kids
Free tuition for single mothers who want to go to (or back to college)
Free daycare
Healthcare
Mortgage first time buyer funding...

You feel me. They have to pay the cost to be the boss. God says we have not because we ask not. So we ask, we vote, we show up for speeches and debates, we ask questions, We serve on school boards, we educate ourselves, we run for office. Harriet would have. Why no you? she was a SLAVE and she did it? You are free. Start with that. We let Pat Buchanan know that nobody is looking like the syrup bottle today. Pat, we salute you (middle fingers up ladies). We live, we will succeed in spite of you and we watch for our opportunity to shine.

I am watching too. For my girls.

The Maturation of a Black Pen: Marriage and the Men Who Won't

"Yeah, we had bought our second house, to use as income property, and then she said to me, 'You know, we might as well get married now, James.' So then I said, "Oh what the heck?"

You have just read a typical African-American marriage proposal. Now, before the bourgeoisie get bent out of shape and blast me with video of their romantic marriage proposals under the Eiffel tower, please wait. I said TYPICAL African-American marriage proposal. Where the women wait around for many years too long as the men keep an eye out for that one more piece of ass before they take that funeral march to the altar.

Survey black couples today and you wil find a number of these non-traditional proposals. Couples who have ated for many years or men who, after several long term relationships and even a child or two by another single person, they decided to settle down. It smacks of last resort, ultimatims and pathetic childish behavior on the part of men who know, after all, that the sister will wait for me. Hell, she has waited this long.

I have surveyed black men over and over while having cigars at Shelly's and watching the game (yes, girls to FIND the men you must GO to where they are!). They all say the same thing. They are accomplished degree professionals who are identical in thinking to the baby-daddies running the streets of the hood. They want it all and the perception that they have women in every port: on the Vineyard, in Miami, at their law firm or at the alumni reunion, and they are living the life of Riley is greater than committment, conscious and consideration for their community. They do not even deny, when you ask them why at 38, 39, 40 they remain single, that they are selfish and living for superficial things and gains. Some even father children with successful women out of wedlock to fulfill vain desires. But, marriage? No.

We as women feel embarrassed and humiliated. The chip on our collective shoulders grows bigger each year as we age not having been chosen in our twenties, or even thirties by a man. I know the women who have been prentending this is a perfectly fine circumstance will take issue with my every word. But I am allowing you to peek behind the curtain here. Women want marriage and the partnership whether a picket fence is involved or a condo in Manhattan, we were reared to expect love and family. We sompensate for this loss in many ways. Unfortunately, the less money one has, the more destructive our solutions to the challenge.

Who suffers? Back in the day, there were families of teachers and professionals living alongside single, lower income, workers and apartment dwellers. There were models within the community that people aspired to and achieved. We cannot apologize that the destruction of our black families begins with men and perpetuates the fatherlessness that they all have endured. It is as if men are asking themselves, "Why did my father leave us? Why was he so selfish?" and then without realizing - or maybe intentionally - they exhibit the same behavior. "Ahhhh. I see." The women, the vanity, my life my way..." Sad.

Okay so why is this issue not as prevalent in White America? Why does any self-respecting non-gay man on the fast track marry his college sweetheart and have kids and a mortgage as the foundation of their climb up the corporate ladder? Do they cheat? Sure! These are the men for whom strip clubs were invented. Business travelers! Not the seedy druggies who also worm their way in. No, trust me it is the corporate dollars that keeps that industry humming.
Can black men take a lesson from the white ones? I am smiling now because I knwo my activist readers are going to challenge me to stop jocking white people. I am not. I am "jocking" marriage an the family, a concept that our community - our men in particular - fail to grasp.

The bottom line is: if you do not lok at exceptions and seek the rule, our communities are much stronger ith married couples and black families in it.

On the horizon are men who understand this. And they may not be chocolate flavored ladies, so keep your eyes out for the vanilla ones too!